I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.

Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S. (via poetryinspiredbyyou)

stele3:

Ferguson Police have dogs and shotguns. The unarmed crowd is raising their hands.

For anyone not following the Mike Brown story on Twitter: a 17 year old black boy named Mike Brown, who was supposed to start college tomorrow, was shot to death in Ferguson, Missouri by police while jaywalking. He was unarmed. He was shot 9 times.

Initial media reports claimed that an 18 year old black man had been shot and killed while fleeing police after shoplifting.

People in the neighborhood, including members of Mike Brown’s family, came out of their homes and began to protest, shouting “no justice, no peace,” and keeping their hands in the air.

Media reports claimed that a violent mob quickly formed around the shooting location shouting “kill the police.”

Spread this. Tell the truth about what happened to this boy. Tell the truth about what is happening NOW. The police and the mainstream media is painting him as a criminal, and his community as a violent mob.

SPREAD THIS. Don’t let them lie.

It’s Monday. I’m going home at 6pm and a middle aged man and a teenage boy are the only people left on the bus with me. I consider the fact that because the driver is also a man I am the only person left on the bus with the correct genetic makeup for boobs. I’m automatically scared, scared because of my own anatomy. I wonder how old I was when I realized that my own body was going to be the cause of the constant anxiety and fear I feel in situations like this. I get off at the last stop and the older man smiles at me while following me up the street. His smile drips, drips, drips and my heart is pounding, pounding, pounding. He turns off down another road, but I run the rest of the way home.

Not all men.

I’m at home on a Tuesday, beginning to plan the travels I want to go on next year. I dream of wandering the streets and meeting strangers. I just can’t wait to escape the city I’ve lived in for 17 long years. But… my mum is hesitant. She’s forever worried about the danger that being a young girl traveling alone can bring. I’ll be alone and she’s scared. Surely I’m invincible. I feel invincible. But I know, I know this danger is real and I can’t help but think to myself, if I feel unsafe in my own city, how am i going to feel in a strange place with strange men who don’t speak the same language as me? If I was my brother planning this, I would probably just be wondering if European girls are going to be hot.

Not all men.

Wednesday is a beautiful sunny day but I’ve always been told that I don’t have a “nice enough body” to wear a bikini on the beach. Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve thought that having tummy fat was ugly. That skin that doesn’t have a perfectly golden glow is undesirable. I amble to a clear patch of sand in my one piece and I can feel pairs of eyes latching onto me. Hairy men in speedos who I don’t look twice at eat into my body with their stares. I’m a piece of meat. I am a piece of meat? I am here for their amusement. Please don’t let me be eaten alive.

Not all men.

Thursday night two friends and I are walking to our god damn school dance when we hear “Jesus look at you! You sluts heading to a pole?” These words snarl out of the mouth of a respectably dressed man and we stop in horror. Shivers roll up my back in fear. It’s dark. We are alone. What. Do. We. Do??? One of us pulls the finger back. I can never be sure how quickly a sexist man can get angry so we walk quickly away. We’re angry, so so angry. But also so… deflated. I wonder if we deserve this shame.

Not all men.

Sitting on the internet, Friday night and scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed:

“Haha, good job at the game today bro. You RAPED them!”
“Damn with tits like that, you’re asking for it :P”

Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…

I’m shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and I want to CRY because these boys don’t realize how small they make me feel with just pressing a few keys. I see these boys on the streets, I talk to these boys, I laugh with these boys. Dear GOD, dear GOD i hope these boys don’t think actions speak louder than words…

Not all men.

Three rules that have been drilled into me since I was young run through my mind at 1.30am on a Satur… Sunday Morning:

-Don’t ever talk to strange men
-Don’t ever be alone at night in a strange place
-Don’t ever get into a car with a stranger

I break all 3 of these laws as I pull open the taxi door. Making light conversation with the driver, he doesn’t see my sweaty hand clutching the small pocket knife I keep hidden on me at all times. He doesn’t even realize the fear I feel at his mere presence. He cannot comprehend it, he never will. How easy would this 15 minute car ride be if I was born a boy?

Not all men.

It comes to Sunday, another snoozy, sleepy, Sunday and someone has the AUDACITY to tell me not all men are rapists. I say nothing.

I’m a 17 year old girl.
When I am walking alone and it’s dark, it’s all men.
When I am in a car with a man I don’t know well, it’s all men.
When men drunkenly leer at me on the streets, it’s all men.
When a boy won’t leave me alone at a party, it’s all men.

Not all men are rapists. But for a young girl like me? Every one of them has the potential to be.

Not.
All.
Men.

(via nonjazzscatcat)

this is amazing

(via silverindies)

sarahmac2301:

bat-little-boy:

EMMA WATSON STANDS UP TO TURKISH PRIME MINISTER’S SEXISM

KEKE PALMER TO PLAY THE FIRST BLACK CINDERELLA ON BROADWAY

SONY ANNOUNCED THEY’RE GONNA DO A FEMALE SUPERHERO MOVIE FROM THE SPIDER-MAN UNIVERSE

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIRST IVE HEARD ABOUT IT

spoken-not-written:

danisnoionfire:

ass-sass-class-pizza:

THE COMMENTS ON NASH GRIERS INSTAGRAM ARE MAKING ME PISS MY SELF THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE DESERVES IT. YOUR BLUE EYES CANT GET YOU OUT OF THIS ONE U SHIT

People need to start leaving him the fuck alone

People need to start respecting girls for who they are and let them look the way they fucking want and to not be given expectations that are wrongly thought of as worldwide.

Reblogged from super-mary1

1. Using the defense that Rooney got the role because she’s well-known and that’s just what the director wants. What the director wants is a white person playing a Native American? You don’t think that’s whitewashing? There are well-known Native actors who can play this role of a Native person. Native American people aren’t costumes. You don’t put on some brown paint and a headdress and suddenly you’re Native.

2. Using the defense that Rooney was the best for the role and the other actors didn’t fit the criteria. What other actors? If there’s anyone who doesn’t fit the role, it’s Rooney, who’s white, playing a NATIVE AMERICAN character. I’m pretty sure the criteria for being Native American is having Native American blood.

3. Using the defense that this casting isn’t racist, even though they’re literally erasing a Native character and having a white person play her. If they put her in redface and psuedo-Native getup, will that be “not racist” too?

It couldn’t be any clearer what’s going on here.

Twilight managed to find plenty of Native American actors to fill roles for Native American characters and you’re coming at me with these weak excuses then crying about how I won’t listen to you? I’m listening loud and clear and all I’m hearing is you defending racism.

You’re say you’re against whitewashing, but here’s your original argument defending the practice broken down for you. Do you think that just because you say that you’re against something, your actions can’t betray you?

commanderabutt:

brandx:


Young Dad Wins Back Custody of Child Adopted Without Consent

26-year-old Jeremiah Sampson waged a three-year court battle that forced him to drop out of college to pay for legal expenses in gaining custody of his child.
Sampson drove five hours to Rolla, Mo., once or twice a week for more than six months to challenge the adoption in court. The adoptive parents threw a towel over the baby’s head in court, refusing to let him look at his birth father.
Born and raised in Coweta, Oklahoma, Sampson had four older brothers, three sisters and a mother who worked two jobs to support them all. He didn’t meet his father until he was 13 and hasn’t seen him much since. “I would never do that to my own flesh and blood,” Sampson said. “I would never walk away from my own child.”
Sampson is now suing the adoption agency for violating his parental rights by going ahead with the placement even after he objected.
Source: Tulsa World


THIS IS MONUMENTAL IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY’S ALL OUT GLOBAL ASSAULT ON BLACK FAMILY PRESERVATION OMG LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS DUO LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS RULING I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT /capslock!orphan X

this makes me really happy they look so happy

commanderabutt:

brandx:

Young Dad Wins Back Custody of Child Adopted Without Consent

26-year-old Jeremiah Sampson waged a three-year court battle that forced him to drop out of college to pay for legal expenses in gaining custody of his child.

Sampson drove five hours to Rolla, Mo., once or twice a week for more than six months to challenge the adoption in court. The adoptive parents threw a towel over the baby’s head in court, refusing to let him look at his birth father.

Born and raised in Coweta, Oklahoma, Sampson had four older brothers, three sisters and a mother who worked two jobs to support them all. He didn’t meet his father until he was 13 and hasn’t seen him much since.

“I would never do that to my own flesh and blood,” Sampson said. “I would never walk away from my own child.”

Sampson is now suing the adoption agency for violating his parental rights by going ahead with the placement even after he objected.

Source: Tulsa World

THIS IS MONUMENTAL IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY’S ALL OUT GLOBAL ASSAULT ON BLACK FAMILY PRESERVATION OMG LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS DUO LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS RULING I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT /capslock!orphan X

this makes me really happy they look so happy

Reblogged from